It is August and I am still struggling with the few essays,  I planned for this blog account.  It is frustrating and sometimes depressing and yet I persist.  Writing is very important to me but it is not the only thing I have going on in my life.  So this post is me when I am not writing.  It has taken me longer than I would like to admit putting this post together.  However, once the draft is completed to my satisfaction, I am posting it.  It will be like the title As-Is.

First, I am still someone’s mother.  My kid is actually a legal adult, however, she is still my kid.  We are about the same height and often to her chagrin, strangers think we are sisters.  Thank you Anti-aging moisturizer.  My kid is a reader like her mother.  She studies the Chinese language and is also struggling with developing her own fictional story, in the space opera romance.   I believe I mentioned it in a previous blog.

Then there is the day job it is hard to define since it combines the work of a caregiver and home health aide.  Before there is any protest, I looked it up and both jobs are defined differently even though they overlap in many areas.   The official title is Consumer Directed Personal Assistant, which means if something goes terribly wrong with the client,  the agency that cut my checks does not get sued by the family.  Other things are included but the most important is the care of the client.    I took this job because it was something I could do.    I don’t love or hate it.  I am glad that I am able to help someone in need.  This way I was not only helping the client, but I was also helping his previous caregiver. There are good days, bad days and meh days.   There isn’t more to add to that.

I have been planning on writing about this project but that post is still being worked on.  So I will mention it here.  I am developing a podcast.  Yes, I’m aware that podcasts are the new blogs, there are a million out there.   The small low budget podcast that I would present to the world, is like a drop of water in the vast oceans of podcasts.  Equal to this blog.   I’m an avid podcast listener and many podcasters encourage new ones to start up all the time.     The podcast is called the Red Mushroom podcast and it is about writing and the writing business.  It is all under construction.  I wonder why one of my many creative goals is to produce a podcast.   There are many writing podcasts out there.  However there is only one me and I believe that it is quite possible for me to reach that one person, who wants to write but doesn’t know where to start, wants to write but doesn’t understand the craft, wants to be successful but doesn’t understand the business.   Believe it or not, writing is a triad of art, craft, and business. I have listened to many blogs and they don’t always reach the audience they claim to be looking for.  I also realize how strange it is to begin a post claiming not to talk about writing only to come back to it.  I want to not only entertain people; I also want to inspire and inform.  So stay tuned.

The last things that I will write about are my phone games.  First I will like to say that I am not paid by any of these games, to endorse them. I play them and have paid them but that optional.  There is Home Design, Design Home, Homescapes, Wordscapes,  Wordswipe, Sushi Bar, Cooking Diary, Cooking Madness  Polygrams and Block Puzzle Jewel.  One of these days I may go into detail why I like these games.  That won’t happen on this post.  There is also all the streaming entertainment.   Almost everything with the exception of learning Esperanto on Duolingo will circle back to writing. I don’t think about learning a language as a game, so I didn’t add the app to my phone game list.  It is just an app that is on my phone.   The games and language app, are fun to use and playing is best when listening to an audiobook.

This may all seem like a waste of precious time.  I have felt that way too sometimes.  It is the things I do when I’m not writing.  In the future, I may do a time analysis.  I have cut back on some and others I take an interest every other week or so.   There are more things, events, places, these are the things that come up first.  My family is always on my mind.   Every day brings unique or unusual challenges.

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Ever so often I feel like writing and posting an essay that is similar to a Do Now, the teacher assignment given to elementary kids at the beginning of the class period.  I call them free write essays.

Bear with me this might hurt.  I write that because I have read previous free write essays on other blog accounts,  all posted without the benefit of the Grammarly app and they are sometimes painful to read.

What I will like to accomplish is an entertaining essay on how good intentions can be difficult.  These intentions are my writing plans.  However, this will mostly be a stream of consciousness essay on random thoughts that go through this writer’s mind.   One thought blending into another thought that may or may not be related.  Essays like this are usually a response to something that happened in the public eye – politics, the internet, various business industries, etc.     I have done my best to stay away from the outrage wagon or the trending wagon.  There are people whose only purpose in life is to outrage others.   While we are exploring the outrage, we are missing important clues everywhere.  I was trying to come up with something more profound but the words are not with me today.

I started this essay in the last week in March I think.  The plan was to write everything and then post it with or without grammar corrections.   It is now the third week in April.  My reasons for this vary.   There was a family event and there is Camp Nanowrimo.   I may write a Camp Nanowrimo blog or a Nanowrimo blog.   I am supposed to be posting an essay at least every week on the Universe.  That does not happen.  I believe sometimes it is because I don’t feel I’m qualified enough to write on a certain subject.   This is also the reason I stay away from what is trending.  By the time I feel like I know enough to write on a subject.   It is no longer trending.  I will still write about it, just to get my thoughts out of my head. I won’t post it.   There are exceptions, those are not posted because I haven’t finished them.

Despite everything that is going on in my life the ups and downs, I can’t see myself not writing.  I can’t see myself not telling myself tailor-made stories or revising something that I read, watched or listened to.   I didn’t give this entry a title because I knew it would be paragraphs of rambling thoughts.  I hope this inspires someone to create something like me or not be like me.  As long as they are happy with the choices they made.

Today I am good with my choices.

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